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Tuesday 22 November 2016

Editing a paragraph


when it was our last day camping out in the bush my friends and i discovered that there was a bush that was really rare because there wasn’t that much bushes around because it was actually a huge forest it looked so amazing it had the smell of chocolate and strawberries on the outside it looked just like a stinky old bush

Change this paragraph

When it was our last day camping out in the bush my friends and i discovered that there was a bush that was  rare. Because there wasn’t much bushes around. because it was  a huge forest it looked so amazing from the inside out it had the spectacular smell of chocolate and strawberries combine on the outside it looked just like a stinky old bush.

Thursday 3 November 2016

The Bush

Once upon a time there was a little boy called daniel but the people called him bush boy because he lived in the bush But one day he set off to the land of the lost to find a new home. In another bush of course. The only thing standing his way were the thorny bushes,hairy spiders and most of all the big black overlord bear. So he got all his biggest baddest armor and weapons Once he got through the thorny bushes and hairy spiders He finally fought the beast we got to point where they were Fighting our lives but finally i got him on the ground so ran up to Him and slit his neck. Now it all mine all of it is mine to the bushes to the trees it’s all. So finally daniel found his own where nobody will call him anything.